Girlfriend jokes
A nickname to call your short GF:
Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
My girlfriend went to Tokyo, and she died in the tsunami.
Since I was sad, my friend told me, "Don't worry, there's plenty more in the ocean."
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
Me and my girlfriend were walking in the woods.
Her: I am scared!
Me: What do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?
Call and tell her about it.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why is it inappropriate when guys say their girlfriends are their “Partners in Crime”?
Like we get it, bro, she’s underage.
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
My girlfriend's a two, but she's turning three tomorrow.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"
What's the best way to prank your blind girlfriend?
Fill her closet with see-through clothes.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’