Gift Jokes

Santa claws have a child a bike and a football the child wasn’t happy why

He had no legs

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter, as I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set and the entire animal shelter was burned down. A few hours later I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why, I replied "I couldn't find any" She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?

Did you know what my grandpa wanted for christmas? A new ass because his one has crack on it.

Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present

what does the blind, deff child get for christmas

Cancer

Last week was my BLIND friend's birthday. I thought I would give him something really good that he may need. As I walk into his house and give him a cheese grader for a birthday present he sets it next to him. As weeks past he comes up to me. He said " That present that you gave me for my birthday was the most intense book I has ever read"

will: Let's bring Hannibal a gift today! beverly: Yeah, I bet he’d love that! will: Yey! beverly: What should we bring him? will: *holds up a bucket and knife with an insane looking smile* come in the bucket!

I gave helen keller an oculus and airpods for her 12th birthday and she hated them and me.

How did the toilet react when it received a gift? That was so pot full (toughtfull)

What happens if you play with Santa’s ball you get a white Christmas

Me: "gift a homeless kid iphone 7" The kid: but is has no home button Me: exactly 💀

It’s Christmas and sally has a gift she got a Barrie just kidding she still hasn’t opened it

Me: *reading a sign* "Children are a gift from god" Me: "No, they are a gift from the underworld"

Mother: "Yeah I picked you up at the giftshop on my way out" Mother: "You are a spawn of Satan"

Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favourite teacher. One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas. The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas? Johnny Relied. Sorry miss my rabbit died.

In the realm of pixels and screens, Josh pursues videos, a world unseen. Six dollars exchange, a transaction made, A story told, emotions cascade.

The power of film, a gift divine, Stirring souls, weaving through time. Six dollars spent, a connection formed, A simple act, a heart transformed.

In every frame, a universe unfolds, Captivating minds, stories untold. Josh buys videos for six, a token small, Yet within them lies magic, captivating all

this is my fidget spinner, i got it in my easter basket.

My child is ungrateful, I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you, no, he said "dad, I don't have any legs"

My friend:your so skinny you never miss the elevator when it's closing you just slip right through😂

Me thinking it's a gift from god:🕴️😎

Oh, the monkeys in the trees, they dance and they play, Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, they chatter all day. Their tails so long, their hands so fine, they swing and they sway, In the trees, they're the kings of the fray.

Their antics bring joy, their laughter so free, They're a delight to watch, as they jump and they spree. Their mischief is contagious, their fun so true, They're a treasure, a gift to me and you.

Their little hands so deft, their feet so light, They swing through the trees, with grace and might. They're a wonder, a marvel to see, A precious gift, a treasure to me.