What to gift a child molester who already has everything? A bigger county with more believers.
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Guess what I got from my uncle this Christmas? Herpes.
Q. What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
A. Cancer.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.
What did the pretty young pre-pubescent 14 year old boy say when he got a homosexual pedophile for Christmas?
He said he was awfully touched!
What’s it called when you give an emo some rope as a present?
Murder.
What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.
What color flowers do mama cats like to get?
Purrrrrrrple flowers.
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
To start, I'm a big fella in size.
I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
I bought my son a trampoline he sat in his wheel chair and cried
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
A week before Christmas my wife left me. She said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore.
On Christmas Eve, Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "All I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world."
On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
