Get jokes
I watched a potato farmer get arrested the other day.
She kept yelling, "Do you know who I yam?"
Let's try to get to either max likes or dislikes, your choice.
And duck jokes, who would win in a fight, a baby or a pacifist, presented by duck?
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓭𝓲𝓮.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
A magician is driving, but then he "turns" into a driveway.
If you get this joke, you have no personality at all. Send all the help you can get:).
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get the milk and to get to the dark side.
Yo mama so fat when she wanted to get wet, she used the highway as a slippin' slide!
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both can’t get up without a dog.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
My arm: "I'M GETTING RIPPED TONIGHT!"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.