Get jokes
Why do orphans always get an iPhone X?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Answer: Elephino.
If you ever get cold, just go to a corner because they're usually 90 degrees.
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
Let's say I was immortal. No matter what I did, I would be alive. But, the catch is I’m the least flexible and least strong person in the world.
Now, I get my head chopped off. What would I do? I would roll over to my headless body and figure out what it's like to suck my own dick.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
What would be a pet's favorite thing to click on on this website?
Cat-egories.
Get it?
What's the difference between a Ranga and a Brick?
A Brick can get laid.
Q: What did the person who invented the door knocker get?
A: A no-bell prize.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
Why don’t rappers ever get lost?
They always have a SICK FLOW to follow.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
What’s the hardest bit about having anal sex?
Repeatedly getting a cock shoved in your arse🤣
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.”
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”