Get jokes

How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?

It never gets old.

What do orphans get at restaurants?

The family meal.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?

What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

Why do we tell actors to break a leg?

Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?

Why did your emo mom get you?

To have someone to hang out with.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?

Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.

What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

The coffee was getting mugged, so it called 911.

Why do orphans go to church?

Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."

What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?

Magic Johnson.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

Those t.p. jokes are getting shittier by the second.

I wrote puns on a piece of paper like this:

P. P. P. P. U. U. U. U. N. N. N. N. S. S. S. S.

Then I showed them to my teacher, asking him what they had in common.

“They are all very tearable,” he replied.

Well, there is one person who gets it!

What music scares balloons?

Pop music.

Why would the banana scream "ouch?"

Because it is getting peeled.

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)