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What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the barking lot.
How are this joke and the kid with cancer alike?
It never gets old.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Why did your emo mom get you?
To have someone to hang out with.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
They were always saying "Bach, Bach, Bach". And his cows preferred Moo-zak.
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
Want to know the difference between an orphan and a flower??
Flowers get picked.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
What do orphans get at restaurants?
The family meal.
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Why do orphans not tell when they get hit?
Because who are they gonna tell, their mom?
What did the girl with no hands get for her birthday?...
We don't know; she hasn't opened it yet.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!