Get jokes

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Me: Can I get your mom's number?

Friend: Here you go:

Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?

A. Cut the rope.

What can change color and get beat up?

You.

What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

He was toad away.

Get it?

"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"

"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!

Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?

A: A couch potato. HaHaHa

Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.

Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....

Mom: It's a pillow fort.

Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?

Mom: You're almost 19 years old.

Me: Not good enough... OUT!

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, she's still trying to open it...

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.

When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

The daughter of an incestuous pedophile goes into the living room where he is watching TV and asks him if she can borrow the car that evening.

"Sure honey! If you suck my dick!"

So she gets down on him but something is wrong. She pops her head up and says: "Dad! This tastes like shit!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot," says the father. "I already gave your brother the car for tonight."

One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."