Get jokes
I love going to church to get closer to God, but my least favorite part of church has to be touching the priest’s penis.
Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?
You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.
Mom told me to get more in touch with my feminine side. So, I crashed the car.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
What time is it when you get home, can you walk home and walk?
How are peppers 🌶 so nosey?
They get jalapeño business.
I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”
That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.
Shame on you Penaldo!
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.
For this orphan, his dad didn't only go and get the milk. His mom did too.
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
How did the burglar get into my house?
Intruder window.
How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked.
Little Johnny went up to his mom and said: "Can I have some milk?"
He waited for three hours to get an answer.
His mom finally said: "No, your dad still isn't back with it."