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Guy

    • What happens when a guy is in a pool with a deck and no one is around? The guy has to pee, get up on the deck, and stick it between the bars and pee.

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    • Genie

    • Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

    The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

    The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

    The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

    The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

  • 0
    • Get memes

    Miracle

    • Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

    She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

    "Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

    Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."

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    • Tongue

    • "My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."

    The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/

  • 2

    • Wish

    • Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.

    The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

  • 6

    • Marriage

    • Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

    After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

  • 5

    • School

    • Hello guys, imagine if we had no school and we get to do whatever we want without parents telling us what to do! What place would you want to call it and what would the fun things we get to do be? I would call it "Happy world for kids." Leave a comment telling me what it would be called! Enjoy! :)

    Credit Card

    • Gwen sassy: Hi here, my credit card. Don't get it wet, it is too much!

    Unknown: Okay!

    Gwen sassy: Man, I am late, can you move along! Much!

    Unknown whispering: Sexy!

  • 1

    • Boob

    • Get a calculator.

    Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.

  • 1

    • Anger

    • Short people tend to get angry easily...

    'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...

  • 1

    • Jackass

    • Prince will be coming back in 10 mins here is a joke.

    Gwen: Prince sorry but I'm wanting someone else instead. You've just been a complete jackass toward me, sorry good night.

    Prince: Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Gwen: Good night!

    Prince: Why?

    Gwen: Because...now good night!

    Prince: We can work some things out?

    Gwen: Nope...NOW GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!!!

    To be continued

    ACE

    • So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.