Get jokes

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

How is smoking similar to oral sex?

The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢

Friend 1: I don't want to jump.

Friend 2: Me neither.

Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.

Friend 1: *jumps*

Friend 2: *jumps*

Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!

Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?

A: A couch potato. HaHaHa

Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?

A. Cut the rope.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What can change color and get beat up?

You.

What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

He was toad away.

Get it?

Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.

Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....

Mom: It's a pillow fort.

Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?

Mom: You're almost 19 years old.

Me: Not good enough... OUT!

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, she's still trying to open it...

What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.

When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."

"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"

"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!