Get jokes

What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.

What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

What's the difference between orphans and apples?

Apples get picked.

How is smoking similar to oral sex?

The closer to the butt you get the stronger the flavor! 🤢

Friend 1: I don't want to jump.

Friend 2: Me neither.

Murderer: If you don't jump, I'll stab you.

Friend 1: *jumps*

Friend 2: *jumps*

Murderer: I didn't mean off the building!

Friend 1: I know that. I just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy.

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

What does the Gay Garlic do when it gets hot? It takes it's CLOVES off. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Like if you LOL every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

Q. How do U get the emo out of the tree?

A. Cut the rope.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

What happened to the frog that parked illegally?

He was toad away.

Get it?

What can change color and get beat up?

You.

Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.

Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....

Mom: It's a pillow fort.

Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?

Mom: You're almost 19 years old.

Me: Not good enough... OUT!

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, she's still trying to open it...

Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?

A: A couch potato. HaHaHa

When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."