Get jokes
Sometimes, stairs get me down.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Get in the van, or I'll kill you.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Where do Sith get their clothes?
At the Darth Maul!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
Hippity Hoppity, women are my property.
Bippity Boppity, get the f*ck off my property!
Get up, you lazybones!
My pen is so strong, ladies, come and get it!
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.