Get jokes
What happens if you sit under a cow?
You get a pat on the head.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Men, get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich!
Women, go chop some lumber!
White people, get back into the cotton fields!
I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.
Then it hit me.
Why did the cow go to space?
To get ice cream!
I have a joke about death.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Think about it :)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get ran over by a truck.
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
There is a Mexican sitting on a train.
The guy sitting next to him says, "I have a big dick."
The Mexican decides to get a lawnmower and some clippers. When he got off the train, the police found a dead body with no dick and pube hairs.
Dark Jokes R Like Puppies:
Once they come out they are trash, but once it starts to get older, that’s when it’s noticed, but when it gets too old, you either proclaim it dead or never talk about it.
(I would never do that though I love puppies)
What is it called when you whoop a donkey?
A whooped ass and apparently some people get that everyday from their drunk dads.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
What did Jenny get for her birthday after a car accident?
An amputation.
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"
The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/