Geography jokes

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

In Washington D.C.

Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?

Because it's the Mother and Father Land.

I wrote an essay today about Africa, and I FAILED even though I wrote a perfect rendition of the Hunger Games storyline.

Yo forehead so big it receives more than the Pacific Ocean!

I went on a date with an Eastern European chick. She got mad because I rushed her...

Get it? It's Russia, and I rushed her.

Official flag of Great Britain? The Union Jack.

Official flag of Australia? The Southern Cross.

Official flag of Canada? The Maple Leaf.

Official flag of Japan? The Sun.

Official flag of Orange County, California? The Nazi Symbol.

Statue of Liberty ain't even American, that b*tch is French!

For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.

In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).

During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.

Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.

"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas!"

In Saudi Arabia, there lived a man named Abdul.

Abdul rhymes with Azul, the Spanish word for blue.

And he probably be lookin' more blue than me.

Did you know the "w" in Africa stands for water?

One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”

When your plane heads for New York...

What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.

What's the special part of town called? Downtown.

Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.

Capital Of San Marino?

A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.

Yo mama is so ugly that Kanye West went East to get away from her.

I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!