Geography jokes
I've spent most of my life avoiding conflict. That's why I'm never intending to visit Syria.
How do you organize a rave party in Ethiopia? Just put some bread on the ceiling.
Wanna hook up at Mount Cook?
What state do miners hate?
Oregon.
What's the most delicious city in the world? Hamburg.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
Yo mama is so fat, she doesn't need internet, she's already WORLDWIDE.
Why can’t USA and England play chess?
The USA has no towers, and England doesn’t have a queen.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
America... Amefrica... Amfrica... Africa...
What is the biggest butt in the world?
The bottom of the ocean.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No, you're a poo.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
Yo mama's so fat, brexshit is deporting British citizens.
What is the most common theme in Africa?
Starvation.
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
What is the poorest country in the world?
Poortugal...
You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.