What place is Flo Rida from? Florida.
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
Here's how to piss off all of North America.
All the United States is, is South Canadia.
You're a good soldier Choosing your battles Pick yourself up and dust yourself off and back in the saddle You're on the front line Everyone's watching You know it's serious we're getting closer, this isn't over The pressure is on You feel it But you've got it all Believe it When you fall get up oh oh And if you fall get up oh oh Tsamina mina zangalewa 'Cause this is Africa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Listen to your God This is our motto Your time to shine don't wait in line y vamos por todo People are raising Their expectations Go on and feed them this is your moment no hesitations Today's your day I feel it You paved the way Believe it If you get down get up oh oh When you get down get up eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa aa Tsamina mina eh eh Waka waka eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Ame la mejole biggi biggi mubbo wa A to Z Asi tsu zala makyuni biggi biggi mubbo from East to West Asi waga waga ma eh eh waga waga ma eh eh Tendency suna tsibuye 'cause this is Africa (Africa, Africa Africa) Tsamina mina, Anawa a a Tsamina mina Tsamina mina, Anawa a a Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a Tsamina mina, eh eh Waka waka, eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa This time for Africa Django eh eh Django eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a Django eh eh Django eh eh Tsamina mina zangalewa Anawa a a This time for Africa This time for Africa We're all Africa We're all Africa
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
I hate when I lose my white friends in the snow and my black friends in the dark. Where do I lose my friends from Afghanistan?
In an explosion.
Why do mountains contain things? Because their moun-tains.
Beth was from Spain and she had a pig. What did they call her?
Beth-la-ham
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
Teacher: What is the capital of Washington?
Dumb kid: The W???
When pigs went to the desert, they turned into bacon.
"You're da bomb!" "No, you're da bomb!"
In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument.
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
I’ve never had Indonesian food. Huh...
Neither have they.(:
