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Garden

Garden jokes

I was digging a hole in the garden until I found some coins! I was about to tell my mum when I remembered I was digging a hole in the garden.

A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.

The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.

I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.

So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.

SON: “Mommy, I found Daddy!”

MOM: “What did I tell you about digging in the garden?”

What’s a pedophile’s favorite type of garden?

A KinderGarden.

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

The bushes outside got jealous after they saw your eyebrows.

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

Fella walks past a mental hospital; they're all out in the garden behind this big fence, all shouting "13, 13, 13, 13," etc., over and over again.

This fella is intrigued, sees a little hole in the fence, looks through it... gets fucking poked straight in the eye!

Then they all start singing, "14, 14, 14, 14, 14, 14!"

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.