So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
Site nearly as dead as my trim.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
What did santa use as a candy cane? Wait wait I said it wrong Ok What did santa use to do his garden....never mind
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.
What do emos and apples have in common?
They both hang on trees.
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
Stormtrooper: What happened with your garden?
Palpatine: Grew it.
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
What do you call those dead pieces of green stuff left in the bottom of a bowl of Caesar salad?
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
