Garden jokes
Do you know how a snail has a "nail," why can't it be a nut?
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: "Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have! You don't have it because you are poor!" The poor child answers: "You're right, it's very nice, but I have one thing that you don't have!" The rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline, and all the other games that can be done outdoors and says to the poor child: "Look at that beautiful swimming pool I have! It is very big; you don't have it because you are poor!" And the poor child says: "Beautiful, it is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have." So the rich child feels bad. He says: "Wait, but I'm rich! How is it possible? I have everything I want because I'm rich. Why do you have something that I don't have?" And the poor child says: "I have cancer!"
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
What did the bee say to the flower?
"Hey bud! When do you open?"
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, Bud!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can Hoe Hoe Hoe!
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
Why did the carrots laugh?
They saw Mrs. Green Pea over the fence.
Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,
HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!
Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?
He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
Site nearly as dead as my trim.
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
My daughter came home from school later than usual. I was panicking, then at 5:30 p.m. she arrived, not walking but in a bus 🚌. I asked, "Where the hell did this bus come from?" She said, "The garage in the alleyway, Mama. I bought it for five gummies and eight buttons. You like her? She is called Belle Bus." My face was just: 😑 How did you get the bus here? She replies with a whisper, "I drove her through five gardens, a house, and two police cars!" 🙃 So that explains why you have handcuffs on. "Yeah!"
What did Santa use as a candy cane?
Wait, wait, I said it wrong.
Okay.
What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
I like plants, but then I decided to turn over a new leaf and branch out.