Growing jokes

One day I was just sitting around when my butthole began to grow larger. It grew and grew and began to engulf the other parts of my body until it swallowed them all. Now I am just a big butthole typing this. Please help me!

When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.

What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.

Why did the rapper become a gardener?

Because he wanted to GROW his fan base.

Why do gay guys grow mustaches?

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, “Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?”

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, “It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch, it is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever poked my pecker into.”

So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon, grow up!

Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

One, I grow some som more, yea, I am 4. I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, I'm Caillou, that's me.

What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.

I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I see you, I throw up.

What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.

What were Paul Walker's last words?

Hey, that tree's growing!

I wonder why the baseball was getting larger and larger, then it hit me.

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

What type of apple grows on a tree?

All of them.

How tall does the grass grow in Germany?

Zis high!