Funny jokes
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
20 likes by just cheese.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
Me nan.
What do planets like to read? Comet books!
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
"Would you like to play the rape game?"
"No wtf" she replied.
"That's the spirit!"
I don't say funny stuff because I'm afraid they will take the German passport from me.
aiegwrbguiwgukabr dQIUGEV8913680 C24902476834V 7 2[339 TV`
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she'll let it go!
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
Derrick and Clive. They have a song about a Dad with cancer and other extremely offensive subjects in a routine called "The Non-Stop Dancer." It is very funny, but it is made even funnier by Dudley Moore's drunken and stoned laughter through the song.
One of the best routines ever. Look it up on YouTube. They recorded them in the studio, but they are ad-libbing and extremely drunk.