Funny jokes

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.

2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.

3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”

4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.

8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.

9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.

11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).

12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.

13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.

14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.

15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.

16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.

17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

What do you call black people in pool?

Coco Pops.

U geiy haha lol.

What do you call an animal with 3 eyes, 2 mouths, 6 noses, and 4 ears?

Q: Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat comedians?

A: He thought they tasted funny.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your dad.

But my dad's dead.

I know, just reminding you!

Did you hear about the terrorist comedian?

He was actually quite funny...

He just blew the delivery.

(I'll show myself out).

What do you call a strong, independent girl in Haryana?

Dead.

My friend in a wheelchair tells a funny joke.

I resist the urge to say that he should become a stand-up comedian.

What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

Those two jokes are not funny at all!

Can I put my baaaaalls in yo jaaaaaaws?

Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?

Because they have no family to share it with.

What's an orphan's favorite website?

It has a homepage.

What do you call your sister if she only has one leg?

Ei-lean.

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"

The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."

What's worse than funny condom fails?

Jake Paul.

How do you keep a blind kid entertained?

You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.

When the school shooter makes the emo kid hang himself and the autistic kid thinks it's a piñata: 🤪🏏

Monkey: What ya doing?

Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."

Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."

A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"

Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.

Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye