Funny jokes
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
What’s the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing; a rape joke fucks you until it’s not funny anymore.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
To all of you making jokes about orphans, it’s all fun and games until both of your parents leave you.
LMFAO (my parents left me and it’s not the funniest thing ever)
It would be pretty funny if something that's not a joke was the most liked thing. It would be pretty funny, I think, lol. Just a little funny, lol.
Waluigi gets his Walu-weenie stuck in a vending machine!
What did God say to the black person?
"Oops, I burned one."😳
Not racist, just funny.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
What happens when you find a bomb at your local bazaar?
It becomes a flee market.
You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada du energy
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada ah ah ah ah ah BOP
....energy
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
Women have less rights than a NASCAR track.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
Sans, you lazybones, get up and do something.
Sans: I am doing something.
Papyrus: Oh yeah, what?
Sans: Thinking up a skele-ton of jokes.
Papyrus: SANSSSsSsSsSssSsSSsSsSsSSsSSsSsSsS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will end you.
Sans: What, does someone not have a funny bone? Oh wait, do you have a bone to pick with me? I have 206.