Fucking jokes

I FUCKING FAILED THE FUCKING CHALLENGE. FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCKKKKK

Yo momma so fat she died at 5. Her kids, f

* * *

What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?

I want to fuck them both.

I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.

Period: Guess who’s back... back again...

Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?

Period: I can come back in 9 months?

Me: Keep fucking singing.

Knock knock.

Fuck you!

Fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu na na na na na na!

Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.

"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."

Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!

Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.

"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"

Knock knock.

Who is there?

Mother.

Mother who?

Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!

There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.

20 years later

Johnny: Hey dad.

Dad: Yea?

Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!

Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.

Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.

Dad:...

This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."

He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."

After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.

During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."

Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"

Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

Class: A cow says mo mo.

Teacher: Good.

Teacher: What does a sheep make?

Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

Cancer is the best thing ever! Hahah, fuck all you cancer patients!

Did you hear about the pervert who couldn't decide whether he was into incest or necrophilia?

He killed his mom and then fucked her.