Fucking jokes
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
My mom said don't fuck whores.
So I kicked my step sis out the house.
I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
You work at Papa's Pizzeria, ok?
Boss: You're fired!
Me: Ok?
Worker: Why are you fired?
Me: Oh, you wanna know...
*shows him the oven with my pizza*
Me: I left my pizza in the oven, that bitch burnt as fuck!!
Worker: OH SHIT!!
Boss: Did you say pizza?
Me: I sure did!
*shows boss pizza in oven*
Me: This hoe black as fuck!
Boss: I fired you because I can't stop looking at your ass, not this why?
A man walked into a bar with an AK-47 with a 50-round mag and yelled out, "Who the fuck fucked my wife?" Everyone was quiet.
One man at the back stood up and called, "Sorry mate, but I don't think you have enough bullets."
When God make white people he said, "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT!"
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
P1: What's the difference between a kid and a hooker?
P2: I don't know.
P1: Wow, you sick fuck!
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
What's the definition of a bastard?
Answer: A man with a 1 inch dick and a 10 inch tongue and all he wants to do is fuck!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
What did the woman say to the man?
"Stop."
What did the man do?
Keep going.
FUCK MEN IN THE ARSE
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
All-star gay mix
Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick's the hardest part of the body She looked like she's having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" in her bumhole.
Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she's in love with bumming Didn't make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb.
So much to fuck, so much to suck So what's wrong with eating the asshole? You'll never know if you don't try You'll never taste if you don't lick.
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
It's a gay place and they say it gets gayer You're licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless man's throat.
The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on cocaine, how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get raped!
Hey now, you're a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you're a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg.
Me: "What are you doing??"
Bully: "Where's my nan's urn?!?"
Me: "I don't know."
Bully: "Tell me!! *says worthless shit*"
Me: "Next time you're looking for the urn, don't bother, I smoked her ashes. They were so fucking good. I then used a quarter of them as an exfoliator, cleared my acne and eczema btw!! Then built sandcastles with them, then blew them in your family's face after!"
Don't bully kids.
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.