Fucking jokes
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Little Johnny walks out to the garage and sees Dad smoking a cigarette. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage and sees his Dad drinking a beer. He asks, "Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer?" Dad asks, "Well, Johnny, can your dick reach your ass?" Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, no, Dad, my dick can't reach my ass." His Dad says, "There's your answer, Johnny..." Little Johnny goes back in the house.
About an hour later, Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a big plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven. His Dad says, "Wow, Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies. You think I can have some?" Little Johnny asks his Dad, "Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass?" His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment. He then replies, "Well, yes, Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass." Little Johnny says, "Well, Dad, you can go FUCK yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!"
Yo mama so fat.
In Super Mario Galaxy, she was a fucking planet!
Fuck burger.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Naughty little Ariana Grande needs to be fucked like the whore that she is. Join this chat to see if you agree.
This is for the people who love her body and want to fuck her.
Read the directions.
1. Type how she makes you feel.
2. Type how you would fuck her.
3. Any type of sex is aloud.
4. Remember to send pics as well.
5. Enjoy.
Joke page for people of all ages. If you want. Please make jokes about her. Enjoy.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Prince/Lord Tallie: Leave Gwen alone for once! By the way, you are an idiot!
Gwen: The Prince! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE TOTALLY DEAD, AND SO I STARTED DATING TANNER! But don't worry, I'll break up with him immediately!
Prince/Lord Tallie: Oh, don't worry, I love it! By the way, can't we do our late-night talk? My Wi-Fi comes out just before we can! I love you even more! 😘
Gwen: Oh, thanks! I thought you would hate me! And yes, we don't have to chat at night, but the days are going to be choppy. I love you!
Tanner: Fuck off.
Kenya Bailey: Excuse me?
Gwen: Tanner, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have tried to date you so fast, and did you see the talk about the boring jokes?
Zre: Who the hell is Tanner?
Ha: Wait a second, he's your boyfriend!
Kenya Bailey: Okay guys, let's not get into your business, okay! Let's see funny jokes.
Ha: Yes, you're right.
Zre: Ok.
Zre: Still, who the hell is Tanner! But hey, this is your toddler's toy! Even though I thought I was a prince.
Gwen: I thought Prince was dead, so I started dating Tanner, then I realized Prince was alive.
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
I can't not believe you stupid fucks. This isn't funny. Just like a bunch of cunts not to believe there is nothing can't do.
BTW what do you call a manly woman's cunt? Nothing. Who gives a fuck?
One of the students reported a school shooting. That fucking snitch...
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
The woman said stop, but the man kept going, so the wife just kept fucking.
This is fucking cringe smd fuckers.
I fucked your mom, oh wait, you don't have one.
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?
Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.
High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.
Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.
High school crush: Who is it?
Me: You.
Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)
Me: Fuck that.
Fuck u!
I fucking love rhubarbs.