Why am I in jail? Because I wasn't invited to the party in the orphanage 23 days ago. Stupid fucks.
Fucking Jokes
Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!
What sound does an Indian make when you're trying to fuck it? ieieieie.
I ain't f***ing with you, there's 1 million things I'd rather f***ing do.
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."
I FUCKING FAILED THE FUCKING CHALLENGE. FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCKKKKK
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
Karens yell, I scream, my mum fucks me.
Knock knock.
Fuck you!
"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"
There's nothing stronger than love, except for an M32 Rotary Grenade Launcher because fuck you and everyone near you.
Fuck nugget!
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
Knock knock.
Who is there?
Mother.
Mother who?
Fuck off bichon, I'm your mother!
I wasn't going to tell another rape joke but fuck it.
20 years later
Johnny: Hey dad.
Dad: Yea?
Johnny: Fuck you, I ain't comin' back to your grave in 16 years, then ima come back, BITCH!
Dad: Doing the same thing I did to you and your mother, ay? I deserve it :( ;O not real...NOT A FUCKING ALL.
Johnny: Yea you kinda fucking do.
Dad:...
This ole boy that's locked up called his ole lady and got into it with her, and she said, "Well, fuck you, I don't need you no more anyway. I got 2 or 3 guys out here wanting me and trying to fuck me."
He said, "Well, honey, that's the least of my worries. I got 10 or 12 guys in here tryin' to fuck me."
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."
