Alarm Clock jokes

My day started out great until I woke up.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

Poker Face.

How do you kill time?

Easy! Taking alarm clock and an assault rifle.

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Mom: Son, get up for school.

Son: I AM UP *holds up books and says I'm up* IM UP MOM!

Why did Jack throw his alarm clock out the window?

Because it reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man who was accused of knife-raping his wife.

There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

X: Morning, sunshine!

Y: Oh, yeah. 30 minutes more.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

What do a pedophile and a clock have in common? Neither of them go past 12.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.

What does a priest and a wristwatch have in common? They both start at 12.

What’s the difference between a clock and an orphan's dad? The clock comes back around.