My friend loves playing Roulette, so I figured I would introduce him to Russian Roulette. Blew his mind.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
If I place a slide on the edge of a cliff or a really high building, would going down it be considered suislide?
Asking for a friend.
my friend died from an allergic reaction.he gave me an EpiPen while he was dying so now i have something to remember him from.
Best friend: dude your sister is hot i’d Hit that
Me: already did SWEEETT HOMMEE ALABAMA
Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.
We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.
So I went to my friends funeral today, As we were all leaving a kid put a get well soon card next to my friends grave ‘poor kid’
I love fire. My friends love it too. When i set them on fire, they run around and scream. They sometimes get so tired they immediately fall asleep forever. Also, they need a shower.
Friends are like penguins.
If you stab a penguin, they die.
knock knock who's there? depression.. that's my best friend.
My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him but and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."
The other day my friend messaged by saying “bro I have two pieces of bad news for you.” I told him to combine them. He replied with “your girlfriend is cheating on both of us.”
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? ----- Then there is me: My life.
What is killing your friend called? a homie-side
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Why does the ice cream 🍨 have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repletedly told him to look where he was going
What do you call a happy child swinging with her friends at recess?
Not Sally.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
This year my friends wanted to dress up as crayons for Halloween. They asked me if I wanted to be a tan crayon. I didn’t want to, but I said yes to be nice. I wish I had said no, because now I look like a dick to everyone else.
