Friend jokes
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
I have a friend named Mole.
She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...
Bro, my friend told me all his humor is dead and dry, and I was like, "Just like 9/11 victims."
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
My diet:
Make all of my friends cupcakes. The fatter they get, the thinner I look...
What does a bad friend give a blind kid for his birthday?
Give him a gun and tell him it's a hairdryer.
A young boy was talking to his friend about his family:
"My great-grandfather fought against Napoleon, my grandfather fought against the English, my father fought against the Americans, and my uncle against the Argentinians."
The friend replied: "It seems that your family can't get along with anybody!"
Me and my friends are going to create a Steps tribute band. We are all in wheelchairs, so we are going to be called "Ramps."
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets!"
Me: I'ma sign up to be a clown.
My friend: Why?
Me: Because my life is a joke. 😂
A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I have never forgotten it.
A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass. The worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back and another train ran over him and cut off his head.
BAD IDEA and a lesson to us all.
NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
I would like to tell you the name of a song I showed to my friend who had an overdose of LSD.
I see a dreamer.
Dear Gwen and Prince,
Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
Friend: You are joking.
Me: Joking on deez nuts.
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.
My friend died by a truck, why can't I get run over?
Today I asked my best friend what their favorite joke was. They started waving their hands around, and I thought it was a sign to go, thinking I had offended them or something. Turns out they were mute...