Friend jokes
Me: GUYS GUYS I CAN STOP 9/11.
My friend: How?
Justin: Justin!
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
What's the difference between my imaginary friend and God?
None.
They're both imaginary.
One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.
They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.
When my friend eats a mint, I say, "Hey, is it mint to be sweet?"
What is the most unrealistic thing about Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.
When your friend does a finger-gun and his dad appears behind him and does it too, with the real deal!
Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.
My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.
So did my friend on the right.
I had a dream of skiing.
Hi! I would like to befriend all the nice people on this website! (Watersharky, Gwen, Addison Banks, etc.)
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
Yo mama so dumb, when I told her my friend was mute she said, “Can't you unmute her?”
Friend 1: How can the skeleton tell it was going to rain?
Me: He could feel it in his bones.
Friend 1: No, he read the forecast, you fucking idiot!
Heheh ;3
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
"hvhuhdsjcjdsijdskdsivhdsvhsjdvnsjdvdshvgdshgsdhfgh" That's what my friend said when he gave an EpiPen. I don't know why, though.
I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.
Hey amazing people! The Prankster is back! This prank was on my sister and her friends. (tbh I did not think she had friends.)
I set out some snacks for them! Btw (I can't be trusted).
I gathered some "slapies."
The things I gathered were tomatoes, onions, milk, carrots, ice cream, and some dried-out green beans! All that stuff!
I need the tomatoes to make a sauce because I am going to put that with the ice cream, mix that up with the milk, yea yea it might look like a gross and nasty dish...WRONG!!!! I am going to make it into a little snack...anyway we make that into a snack for her and her friends. The onions are used to make their eyes cry and burn but I will give them a towel after that. The dried-out green beans are just to make them go over the top and overreact because I did not cook them. After that, we make it like it's not so icky!
I feed it to them!
They overreacted!
Please leave a comment.
Bye!
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."