I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
my handicapped friend was getting bullied i said just stand up for your self
Jon said:What do you call a pregnant woman? Mike said: I don’t know what? Jon said: kinder surprise
two men are hunting. one asks: did you ever hunt bear? the other one answers: no, but one time i went fishing in my shorts
I bought a book for my blind friend :)
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once but he couldnt tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his ar
It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbor. ‘The seat is empty.’ ‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?’ The neighbor says, ‘Well actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.’ ‘Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible....But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, relative or even a neighbor to take her seat?’ The man shakes his head. ‘No,’ he says. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep.
I was crying at school telling my friends my grandpa died, And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonalds.
Hey, I know this is a classic joke but I found it pretty funny!
"My name is 4, four like the number", my friend - "What, was 1 2 3 taken?"
I can even with it but I was bored and decided to share this x
Remember what one of my gay friends told me: it's only cannibalism if you swallow.
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother "Mom can little girls have babies " his mom answered "of course not" a few minutes later his mom heard him shout to his friend "it's okay we can keep playing
This is a joke to tell to someone with you or something, SOMEONE will laugh. Say: This word isnt gonna be funny until i tell you, your probably not going to laugh. *your friend* whats the word? *you* finger *friend* *dies of laughter*. *note* it works better if you wiggle your finger or something before and not every one laughs, so dont feel bad if they dont. Also dont be surprized if you get put in jail for murder, because your going to kill someone with this.
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday.
He said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
What kind of man would be a lesbians best friend? A decimen.
Friend: did your tattoos hurt Me: nah not really Friend: What did they feel like Me: 7th grade Friend:😶😶😨😰😰😰😨
What did one deperesed kid say to the other? Hey wanna hang together.