Friend Jokes

Kid: Dad where are you going

Dad: To get milk

TEN YEARS LATER

Kids friend: wheres your dad

Kid: he went to get milk but never came back

I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there!" Not Suzy.

Birthdays are weird. We celebrate being one year closer to dying. And we celebrate it with friends and family, which is totally not how we'll die.

We're all gonna die alone, not surrounded by friends and family.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks "did you get her number?". He replies "no, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion"

My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say "thats thanksgiving man!"

My friend said onions only cry so that’s why I threw a coconut at him

The other day I went to a museum, my friend and I went to the holocaust section and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him. Why are you sad it’s just an Ash tray

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

Instead of the line 'This girls on fire', my friend can relate to 'The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the fuck out'

Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.

I friend said a apple a day keep the orphan away I said only if you throw it hard hard enough.

my wheelchair friend was getting bullied so i told him to stand up for himself.

Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out

friend:hey wanna race home. orphan:what home.

People call my blind friend dumb sometimes She can't see the obvious

A friend called me a while back say "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing". I reply saying " Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes".

I asked my friend how long i can be in sky he sayed if u are emo then forever

My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids when he came out the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire , they called him hot wheels