New Friend Jokes - Page 24 - Worst Jokes Ever

Kenneth's hairline friends with moses

When a emo ask you to hang * out under a treee 🖕🖕🖕🖕

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time

How emos propose:would you please join my family tree.

Credit to my friend @omnom

I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink due to my dying first. He said “big games my friend”. He then proceeded to teach us “The greater the Big games the higher the Bottling

I was doing a 10km run with my good friend Pessi. As we were setting up our smart watches, The watch voice asked us if we wanted to do solo run or group run. Pessi proceeded to smash both our watches and shout “ I don’t want solo run, I want Penalty” Shame on you pessi😡😡

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm and I asked her what she was doing and she answered "Oh I had to buy you so I don't steal you"

Why can't an orphan be friends with Dom toretto?

Dom doesn't have friends he has "family"

why do emos have friends? so they can hang with eachother

what's the difference between 8 and 9? when you have the 9, everyone wants to be your friend

Me and my friend roasting each other, Him: Your dad dropped you on purpose but my dad dropped me by accident. Me: But after dropping you he never picked you up

My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.

Run bestie run!!!!

I was playing Warzone last night, and I shot my teammate that said they were emo. When I shot him, another player did, and it said "assist kill."

Me: What the diffrtn between me and my grandpa? Friends: What? Me I've been alive for the past 14 years

As a son I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him, and she don’t want to be with him no more, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny. Then I told my friend girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out, and wanted to co front me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happen then my mom said the same thing happen to me. I came home one day I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job I ask what’s going on. My friend told your mom is my new girlfriend & my mom said this is the penis of my dreams.

One day my sister was making hotdogs. My sister ask me if I want some I said no then my sister ask my friend, and he always said no. Then my sister said I have to eat it plain with no flavor we have no ketchup, mustard or onions. My friend said I got something to give it flavor my sister ok. My sister left the kitchen to get something. I ask my friend what are you going to do then he took the hotdog bread open it and run is penis all around, and put some white cream that came out of his penis. I put the hotdogs on the bread then my sister came back My sister came back put hotdogs on the hotdog bread. I told my sister the hotdogs are ready she ate them I ask how was the hotdogs. My sister said I don’t know what flavor is this, but it is very tasty.

I went home to & I saw my friend kissing my sister I say what’s going on. They both told me that they’re going out with each other. I said alright. The next morning I see my friend kissing my mom I said what going here. They both told me they’re going out with each other. Then my friend said to me I gave you 3 gifts. 1 gift I’m your best friend. 2 gift I’m your new brother n law. 3 gift I’m your new stepfather. I felt so happy I had a friend that looking out for me.