Friend

Friend jokes

Birthday

  • I have a friend whose birthday is on September 11th.

    They're going to have an explosive party that will definitely blow you away!

    It's gonna be the bomb, and a blast, too!

  • 2
  • Orphan

  • Why didn't the orphans stay at the park for days? Because they had no one to pick them up.

    What's an orphan's best friend? A boomerang because it's the only thing that ever came back.

  • 1
  • Pen

  • My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.

    We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!

  • 1
  • Penaldo

  • I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

  • 1
  • Rape

  • Rape isn't a joke.

    It's a type of way of making friends and to mate with other women.

    It's a way of art, and works on anybody!

    Like this if you agree.

  • 8
  • Leprechaun

  • Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.

    Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”

    Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”

  • 2
  • Orphan

  • Friend: Hi, orphan.

    Orphan: Tell me a yo momma joke.

    Friend: ummm

    Orphan: Exactly, U can't.

    Friend: Yo momma so disappointed she left!

  • 1
  • Misfortune

  • My dog stepped on a bee, My child spilt my tea, I drank my hot tea, I broke my bloody knee, Now I'm lying in agony, And I'm devastated with no glee.

    (Again, credits to my really funny friend)

    School

  • What's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school?

    When you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)

  • 3