Forgetfulness jokes

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

Knock, knock.

“Who's there?”

“The Twin Towers.”

“The Twin Towers who?”

“I thought you'd never forget.”

If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.

They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle.

Why the fuck would I do that? I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn on my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me on the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watched and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead of from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with me I wouldn't feel lonely. Well, I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, I took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forget the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forget what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what I did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.

A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."

I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"

How do you die from Alzheimer's? You forget how to breathe.

Blood is red.

Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!

I've got not much of anything to be honest.

Been in special classes in school.

Not liked by people.

Only relationship I've ever had and she cheated on me.

31 years old and never had sex, pathetic.

Not very smart.

Don't look good.

Hate myself more than anything.

Been a failure at everything in life.

Probably be alone forever.

People treat me like crap.

Can't do anything right.

And the list goes on and on.

So the question is why haven't I killed myself yet? The answer is, I forget. I'm a extreme procrastinator, keep just putting it off because I'll probably just fuck it up anyway.

A boy asked his dad: "Why didn’t you make love with my mom, Daddy?"

Dad: "Because I’m gay."

*Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee.*

Son: "W- Wait a minute. So how did I exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight?"

Dad: "Because you are not real, and I didn’t even have a wife."

The son woke up from his horrible nightmare, and he looked so scared. He did leave his bed to check out his dad, but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house, and he said to his son: "Why did you look so worried? I’m just bringing some food for breakfast."

Son: "Well, but why are your hands full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ?"

Dad: "Because I did it with you last night. Did you forget?"

Son: "But it was a nightmare..."

*Dad turns into a monster*

Dad: "I’m your nightmare!"

The son woke up, and he seemed too scared, and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.

The son with himself: "Wake up, b*tch, wake up, b*tch!!!!!!"

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but it eventually came back to me.

I will never forget my Grandpa's last words: "What are you doing with that rope and saw?"

Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

9/11.

9/11 who?

You said that you would never forget!

My doctor told me I had Alzheimer’s.

I said to him, “I don’t remember asking.”

I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.

Your grandmother died because she fell on the highest floor of the hotel. Your grandfather died because he got shot while saving your mother. If he didn't save your mother, you wouldn't be here.

You grew up in a world full of viruses. You wanted the virus to be gone. There's only one way, but you have to know it. I can't tell it for you.

Your mother got Covid-19. You prayed and prayed all night, hoping that she would be okay. The next day, the doctors went to your house without your mother. You asked, "Where is my mother?!" The doctors said, "Your mother is gone, so we came here to tell you." The doctors left. Another hour, you were thinking while crying, "Why was my prayer not working? Lord, why'd you let me down?"

You searched on Google "How to bring back the dead." The Google workers declined it. Your father left you because he loved another girl. Your brothers are still with you, but what if they get the virus? Who will be with you?

Don't forget Jesus is still there for you. Don't give up, keep going, and you will succeed soon. You will find your own family and beat the coronavirus.

I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"

Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.