Forgetfulness jokes

In kindergarten, we were starting to learn how to use "big kid words." On Monday, the teacher asked everyone to share what they did over the weekend, but we had to use big kid words.

Eventually it got to my turn, and the teacher asked me what I did over the summer. I told her I read a book. She asked me what book, and to remember to use "big kid words." I'll never forget the horrified look on her face when I replied with "Winnie the Shit."

Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”

Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"

I will never forget my little brother's last words, RIP.

His last words: "Paint doesn't taste good."

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your grandma died, your dad left you too, Now you're living with your old grandma coot. Oh, let's not forget your mom left you, too. You gon' live alone, die alone, with no roses on your casket, too.

What do orphans and homework have in common?

Everybody forgets about them.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.

Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.

What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.

I thought I told you to lock up when I left this morning. This is why our shit gets stolen all the time!

After you read this post, you will forget you were gay.

I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.

Mom: Don't forget to unload the dishwasher.

Mom: Did you finish your homework?

Mom: We are going to your grandmother's house for Thanksgiving.

Mom: Dad and I talked. We are getting a new car next month.

Son: You are?? Oh my gosh, thank you!

Mom: No, I was just making sure you were getting my texts.

Son: That was cruel!

What do you say when a handicapped man forgets something? "He knew it like the back of his hand."