I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.
Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"
I never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's? You can hide your own Easter eggs!!
I will never forget my girlfriend's last words... "Get off of me! STOP!" *slurp*... Dead.
Good night, sleep tight, wake up bright in the morning light, to do what's right, with all your might.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
A man found a chest full of gold, so he went to go tell his wife, only to remember why he was digging.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
How do our brains remember that we forgot something, but we can't remember what that thing was?
