Food jokes
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
What do squirrels eat at the fair? A-corn dog.
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Why does Jesus hate Skittles?
Because they fall through his hands.
Do emos eat...
Happy meals?
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
"I got that dawg in me," said the Asian men after lunch.
What do you call a banana that can dance?
CHUPAPIMUNYANYO BUISNESS [sic]
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Where is Freshfry?
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
What’s the difference between a pig and Maddie McCann?
Least a pig had an apple in its mouth when it was spit roasted.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.