Food jokes
Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"
The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Memes
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"