Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
Food Jokes
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
If you were a vegetable, you would be a cute-cumber.
What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?
With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.
Why were 9/11 victims so mad?
They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
Where do you order nonbinary pizza?
Little xe/xyrs.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
What is the best thing about being an orphan?
All bags of chips are family-sized!
What restaurant does Africa own? M.T. Bellies.
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
