Food

Food jokes

Muffin

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"

The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"

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  • Kebab

    My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.

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  • Orphan

    Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

    Memes

    Seagull

    Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

    Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels.

    Chicken Wing

    I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

    "Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

    Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

    Sample

    Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?

    He was stealing all the samples.

    Onion

    What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

    Baby

    How do you get a baby into a small bowl?

    A blender.

    How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

    Peanut

    What's the difference between a peanut and a priest?

    With a peanut, you have to break the shell open for the nut to come out.

    Pizza

    Why were 9/11 victims so mad?

    They ordered three pepperoni pizzas, not two planes!

    Titanic

    What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?

    The lobsters in the kitchen.

    Apple

    What's the difference between a black person and an apple?

    An apple chooses to hang.