Food jokes
Gf: Hi.
Bf: Hi.
Gf: Did you eat yet?
Bf: Did you eat yet?
Gf: Are you copying me?
Bf: Are you coping me??
Gf: I love you.
Bf: Yeah, I ate already.
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.
Where can you find the freshest vegetables? A school for the disabled!
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
What can you serve but never eat? A volleyball.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
What’s the difference between Jesus and Maddie McCann?
One had the last supper.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
The grapes in the supermarket are really raisin' the bars...
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.