Food jokes
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
If an Indian had powers, it would be throwing tika masala.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef! Hahahahahaha!
What do you call it when you have two Indians, one Black, and a fat White?
A s'more.
What is a ghost's favorite cake?
I scream cake!
Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!