Food

Food jokes

Incest

Last time I ate a vegetable, I got banned from my sister's group home.

Cat

Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?

There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.

Memes

Cannibal

A man gets captured by cannibals.

Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."

Butter

I was gonna tell a rumor about butter, but I don’t want to spread it.

Child

For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.

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  • Priest

    What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?

    They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.

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  • Baby

    What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?

    About 5000 calories.

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  • Mountain

    Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?

    Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.

    Salad

    Cesar: What was that good salad called?

    Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.

    Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?

    Servant: Hail, Cesar.

    Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!

    Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.

    Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!

    Difference

    What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

    I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.

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