Food jokes
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
What do dino nuggies and the brown M&M have in common?
I want to fuck them both.
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What do you call a flooded hospital?
Vegetable soup.
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
Silly joke! Where’s my natcho? You have it :excuse me it’s nacho cheese 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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Why did the pope drink horse piss? Because a priest asked him what would he do for a Klondike bar? 🤪 😜
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized.
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
Why do people say "cheese" when they are taking a photo?
Because they were using the computer and thought about it.
How did the cookie 🍪 feel when he was dunked in milk?
Batter.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!