Food jokes
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
Peanut Butter
I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
Eat this, peppe.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.
Everybody loved dees big nuts.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Why did Draven eat curry?
I don't know, ask him.
Dravenッ
What happened to the woman who slipped in a seafood restaurant?
Um...I don't know what?
She slipped on a mussel!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack?
Vegetables.
Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!
This ain't your mama's monologue.