Food jokes
Yo mama so fat, everytime she has to use the world's largest knife.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling very well.
My name is Mr. Cheese, but your jokes are still cheesier than me...
Fat people: Do I look beautiful when I eat a pack of chicken?
Me: Yes, you look like a bunch of boulders crashing into each other.
Fat: Dang...
Me: Shut up, Jon Brower Minnoch.
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
Peanut Butter
Yo mama is so stupid, when she saw on her computer it said "You have 3 cookies," she broke it.
What do a gay guy in a wheelchair and a tomato have in common?
They’re both a fruit AND a vegetable!
Q: How do you catch a squirrel?
A: Act like a nut.
(Psst! Heard this joke before? Sorry! That's the only nut-and-squirrel joke I know.)
What’s a homeless person's favorite food?
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*
Jesus is what he eats!
Shit!
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.