Food jokes
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
Cesar: What was that good salad called?
Servant: Ceaser, Cesar.
Cesar: Okay, what's going to be the weather like?
Servant: Hail, Cesar.
Cesar: Yes, I know "Hail Cesar," but I need to know what the weather's like!
Servant: Well, it's hail, Cesar.
Cesar: AHHHHH! Send him to the DUNGEONS! NOW!
What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
What’s Michael Jackson’s favorite pasta?
Spaghett-hehe.
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
A hot dog and a banana had a race. Who won?
The wiener.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂