Food jokes
Three boy chihuahua were hot about this girl chihuahua. She tells them, "I will date whichever one of you can use liver and cheese in the same sentence."
First dog says, "I love cheese, but liver is bland."
She replies, "Really original."
Next dog, "I love liver, but cheese makes me constipated."
She replies, "Ew, gross."
Third dog steps up, "Man, liver alone cheese mine."
Winner dog 3.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
What's the hardest part of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What is a carrot's favorite shop?
The wheelchair store.
What is the spiciest meat ever? Pepperoni.
Memes
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place?
Because he kneaded the dough!
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
How do rappers like their pizza?
With extra bars and dough!
Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
I got banana nut bread for you.
Oh no, the nuts are missing!
Oh, I found them!
You know where they are?
UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!
What happened to the woman who slipped in a seafood restaurant?
Um...I don't know what?
She slipped on a mussel!
Why did Draven eat curry?
I don't know, ask him.
Dravenッ
Eat this, peppe.
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.
Everybody loved dees big nuts.
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.