Food jokes
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Why do the orphans love going to the bakery down the street so much? Because their cookies are homemade.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
One time I ate a chair.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding only half a worm.
Hello, I'm hahaha. What do you call a funny rubber toe?
Roberto!!~!~!!! AaaaAQAAAHAHAHAA. And like hahaha, what's wrong with airline food? They're not black and they're not people.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?
Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
I had a horse named Mayo, and sometimes Mayonnaise.
Q: What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
A: Putting them back in their wheelchair.
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"