Food jokes
What is a computer's favorite snack? Cookies!
"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
Why don't heterosexual 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 suck a 🍌 because 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 tastes like 🐙?
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Milk man.
Milkman who?
Milk poooooooooooooooop peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep man!
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.
What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
Why did Spencer eat cheese?
Because he was Jewish.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."
A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"
The bartender says, "No bread here."
And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"
And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."
So the duck says, "Got any nails?"
And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"
And the duck says, "Got any bread?"
And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.