Food jokes

What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?

Porn Cocktail.

What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?

10 year olds.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"

What makes a bird fly?

Bird food!

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"

The bartender says, "No bread here."

And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"

And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"

And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"

And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."

So the duck says, "Got any nails?"

And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"

And the duck says, "Got any bread?"

And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.

What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.

Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.

It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.

What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?

"This taste a little funny."

Beef beef beef?

TRIPLE ANGUS POUNDER BURGER XDDDDDDDD

Hey Jonny, you can buy a...

Pun o' chips at the store!

What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

What happened to the glue?

I knew you would get stuck on that!

Fuck burger.

The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.

A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.

The witch doctor came in my mouth last week. First hot meal I’ve had in weeks.

Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?

Orph-Donald's.

What's the difference between a dead hooker and a watermelon?

The watermelon didn't scream when I sliced it.

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."

"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"

What's a gay person's favorite meal?

Meat with white sticky stuff.

What is a nut that does magic?

A human that can turn into a nut!