Food jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Only the apple got picked up.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Why do Mexicans eat tacos?
Because they're border hoppers.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Home made cookies ;)
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
I ate Nemo.
Why do I have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy?
What happens if you mix a dick with a potato?
You get a dictator dic-dick-tator-potato!
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi, hungry, I'm Dad! 👋🍪🍩🍬🌮🍔🍗🍟🍤🍉🍭🍫🍰
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”