What type of candy does the most magic?
Twix!
poop i eat it for dinner i eat it at night yet it never comes out of me? how is that possibul?
pOOp
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
Lettuce: Tomato, you're doing great!
Tomato: Thanks for the condiment!
Stephen Hawking is intelligent.
He is not as green as he is cabbage.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yull.
Yull who?
You'll be sorry if you eat all the fruitcake!
What did the customer say when Beef a Roo made him a bacon cheeseburger?
Thank a Roo.
Why do Lebanese go to school? Tabouli!
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
Last last, now everybody go chop breakfast.
It took me years to figure out the Oreos served in Lunchables are knock offs. On the cover it says “Chocolate Crème Cookies.” I’ve believed this lie for as long as I can remember. Unless they were real back then? I don’t even know at this point. They sure as hell aren’t real now!
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
I have breakfast with my boys.
Let's taco about something.
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Waiter says, "Sir, we ran out of ranch, so I had the boys in the back improvise. But don't worry... It has even more zip & twang to it!"
