Food jokes

Julius Caesar (salad) made easy.

People are like bean burritos. You can eat them EVERY DAY, but you'll never run out.

Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"

Hi, my name is Crappy. I like tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and more tacos and ya now GET LOST!

What did the cannibal say to the other?

"Can I practise on you?"

You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.

Does anyone else like Tacos? C'mon let's Taco 'bout it!!! :p Hey, Tacos are made of atoms too......

Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.

What do you call a pizza?

Anthony Cahill's face!

Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.

What do you call diarrhea from a hot woman? Chocolate milk.

What do you call diarrhea from a fat woman? Arsenic.

Why did Spencer eat cheese?

Because he was Jewish.

What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?

Porn Cocktail.

What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?

10 year olds.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"

What makes a bird fly?

Bird food!

One day, Johnny told his dad that a girl in his class liked him. He thought she was cute. She said, "Aw, you're like candy!" He didn't say anything. He said, "Why don't you think I am sweet like candy?" Little Johnny said, "Well, sometimes I get a toothache, and it hurts, so I stop eating it, like I stopped liking you."

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Got any bread?"

The bartender says, "No bread here."

And then the duck says, "Got any bread?"

And the bartender says, "Didn't I just f***ing say that there was no bread here?"

And the duck says, "Got any bread?!"

And the bartender says, "You stupid duck! Or should I say d***? There's no bread here. Don't make me say that again, or I'll pin you to the wall with a nail."

So the duck says, "Got any nails?"

And then the bartender looks surprised, and says, "Of course I've got f***ing nails. Can't you see them?"

And the duck says, "Got any bread?"

And the bartender throws the duck out of the bar.

What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.

Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.

It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.