Food jokes
What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?
"Will there be seconds?"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.
Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
Julius Caesar (salad) made easy.
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
Why was the DJ banned from the supermarket?
He was stealing all the samples.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
Yo mama is so stupid that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.
My dog is named Max, and he likes to eat dog food. Therefore, everyone named Max likes to eat dog food.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.