Food jokes
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Memes
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”