Food jokes
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous, aka cashews.
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io!
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
"Ketchup with me, you are too slow."
What’s a green cucumber?
A carrot.
What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?
The Munch Bunch.
My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Banana bread is cute.
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
Why do orphans have water in cereal?
Because mom was never around to produce milk.
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.