Food jokes
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
Memes
Thanksgiving
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
Spinach
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
I like pie.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.