What do you call a too round egg?
A prEGGnant egg.
Food Jokes
I like pie.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat? Because it is already stuffed.
Yo mama so fat when The Rock hit her with a Rock Bottom, her big fat ass belly let all the pizza explode out of her belly!
Humor is like food, not everybody gets it.
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES desserts?
Ice Cream-E
Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?
Well why are there no Momtarts?
Because of the PASTRYarchy!
What do you call an angry Panera Bread?
Panera slapped!
How are infants and chocolate alike? They'll both kill your dog.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
