Food jokes
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...
The steaks were pretty high.
What's the fastest cake? Scone!
If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...
So, I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said, "Yes ma'am." She said, "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said, "Okay, thanks bitch."
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes.
If I had 10 dino nuggies and Jamal tried to take one, I would have ten dino nuggies and Jamal's head.
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Why can an orphan relate to a pack of bananas?
Because they both split away from their family.
Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.
The north tower wanted some salted fries at Burger King.
They were plane as usual.
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...