Food jokes
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
Where is the best place to eat tacos?
In the Gulp of Mexico.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
Johnny, Johnny. Yes, Papa? Eating dick? Yes, Papa.
My face when my mom said we could go to McDonalds
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising.
Corn and corn, where is popcorn?
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?
Cauliflower.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Dees was a squirrel who had big nuts.
Everybody loved dees big nuts.
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo mama so fat, Bill Gates went broke trying to buy her dinner.
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
I ate all of your mommy's orphans.
Why did the beans fuck the mum to make bouncing beans?
What do you call a rapper who becomes a chef?
A LYRICAL COOK!
If LEO were a spice, she’d be flour... BLAND and FORGETTABLE!