Food jokes
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
Can emos eat a happy meal, or is it a depressed meal?
Memes
Blue Takis?
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Q: Why couldn’t Poe Dameron find his sandwich?
A: Because BB-8 it.
Ya it's bad:)
What happens if a cookie turns emo?
It becomes a cookie cutter.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.