Food jokes
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
1 like = 1 more child in my fryer.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? You have to ask permission before stuffing it with meat.
If there is a hair, the meat is ruined.
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak.
What do furries and fast food lovers have in common? They both love hot dogs.
Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.