Food jokes

What’s the difference between a bird and a human?

“We don’t eat with our peckers.”

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

An apple gets picked.

What's the only good thing about being an orphan?

All snacks are family sized!

My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"

What do you call a cow that's beating his meat? Beef stroganoff!

Why was the astronaut washing her hands?

She was getting ready to eat launch.

Like if you love food!

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

Michael Jackson is pure cheese.

I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.

Billy: *spits out food*

Mom: BILLY! We swallow what we have in our mouths.

Dad: *looks at mom*

Mom: Shut up.

If you get it, you get it.

What do food and dark humor have in common? Some people don’t get it.

I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."

Broccoli says, "I look like a tree."

Walnut says, "I look like a brain."

Cashew says, "I look like a kidney."

Banana says, "Can we change the topic please?"

What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?

Fat, you get fat.

What? Were you expecting a pi joke?

What do you call terrible milk?

Udder Bullshit.

What do you call a roach in milk?

A roach con leche. 😂

Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.

Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.

Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.