Food jokes

If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?

What’s a green cucumber?

A carrot.

What do you call a group of Indians that eat curry all the time?

The Munch Bunch.

Why do orphans have water in cereal?

Because mom was never around to produce milk.

After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,

Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"

What do orphans and apples have in common?

Only one gets picked.

How is the world's fattest avocado called?

Niko

Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.

You wonder where my dad is.

Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!

What's the difference between an apple and an apple?

An apple gets picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.

Do you know Ligma?

Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!

You're as tall as a giraffe.

Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!

What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!

They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.

Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.

My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."

I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.

What did the tomato say to the other tomato?

A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!

What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?

Gum.

Why did the elephant cross the road?

To get to the peanut.