Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
Food Jokes
If a walnut is a nut on the wall, then what is a peanut?
Me: Can you give me some drumsticks to eat?
Brother: Why though?
Me: So I can just drum up an appetite.
Would you rather have a menstrual period with horrible cramps for 200 days straight (including men)?
Or eat 10 lbs of dog s**t every day for 100 days?
Would you rather eat a girl out who has: herpes, COVID, and AIDS while she is on her period?
Or eat live worms, bats, and mice?
Do you want to wear my sombrero?
Or is that nacho style?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple actually gets picked.
What can you do if you have a rotten piece of candy?
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Why are orphans different from apples?
Apples get picked.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
'Cause mommy never gave them some.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
Farmer's Wife: Honey, where are the cows?
Farmer: Up in the mountains grazing.
Farmer's Wife: Why?
Farmer: I don't know, but the steaks have never been higher.
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?
Worms and rotten fruit.
If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?
GHOST MUSTERD
Spinach
Why does Royal Cola have more royalty than a queen?
Answer: It tastes better.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
