Food jokes
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
What do orphans and apples have in common?
Only one gets picked.
How is the world's fattest avocado called?
Niko
I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple tray? The apple tray gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
You wonder where my dad is.
Meanwhile, Dad: It's good to be at milk island!
What did the tomato say to the other tomato?
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
Why do they call it Ovaltine?
The jar is round, the mug is round, they should call it Roundtine.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
You're as tall as a giraffe.
Well, that's why you look like a baked bean!
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they would be bagels.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.
Are you a hotdog stand? 'Cause you make my hotdog stand ;)