Food jokes
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's appealing!
There's a truck full of babies. What's worse than that? One baby being alive. What's worse than that? That baby having to eat its way out. What's worse than that? That same baby coming back from seconds.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
What did the doctor say to the potato?
It told it it had tuberculosis.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
Guys, you need to ketchup with the time.
What is the difference between an emo kid and a jug of milk?
The milk doesn't hang itself after it gets dumped.
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
The old cookoo master on the top of Mt. Qinshan told me this when I was eating sushi:
"The first bite tastes like heaven, the second takes you there."
😳
How can you tell it's a gay barbecue?
'Cause all the hot dogs taste like shit.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."