Food jokes
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
Because he wanted to make dough from his beats.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant person?
A Kinder Surprise.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
Your mama's so fat, she runs a trade deficit with food!
Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?
It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Why did the hobo cross the road?
To get the rotten donut on the other side.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
I told my mom, "Do you want to see a magic trick?" She said yes. I said, "You are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." My mom said, "No, I'm not," but I told my mom, "I'm going to need your assistance." First, I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attached to me, which she did. The next minute my mom has a cream pie over her face. Then I told my mom, "You see, you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together." Then my mom said, "When you are right, you are right."
What do mice eat for dinner?
Mac n Cheese.
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
Little Johnny was living with his grandpa during the summer. Well, grandpa had a beer, and Johnny said, "Grandpa, let me get a sip of that." Grandpa said, "Well, lil Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" And lil Johnny said, "Well, no sir." And grandpa said then no, you can't.
Later that day, papaw (grandpa) had a cigar, and Johnny said, "Let me get a hit of that," and papaw asked, "Well, Johnny, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and Johnny said no again. And then papaw was shootin' his gun, and Johnny asked if he could shoot it, and grandpa asked Johnny if his d*ck reached his a**, and Johnny said no.
Well, after supper, Johnny's grandma made Johnny some ice cream (the most amazing bowl of ice cream EVER), and grandpa said, "Johnny, let me get a bit of that ice cream," and Johnny asked papaw, "Well, papaw, does your d*ck reach your a**?" and papaw said, "Well, Johnny, as a matter of a fact, it does," and Johnny said, "Good, now go f*ck yourself 'cause you ain't gettin' none of my ice cream!"
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.