Food jokes

Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?

A: A wheelchair.

Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!

Israel is so fat, when he goes to KFC and they ask what size bucket he wants, he says, "The one on the roof!"😂

What is BK but gay?

Bgay.

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.

I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...

Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"

Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"

Did you hear about the new Chinese food?

It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

Bread is racist.

Yo momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.

Yo mama so stupid.

When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."

Me: Hey, I have candy.

Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?

Me: Some of deez nuts.

What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.

Why don’t you peel a banana?

It’s too hard to kill your nana.

What do squirrels eat?

Nuts. 🥜

I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"

Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.

Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.