Food jokes

What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?

Abortion of chips.

What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?

A corn stalk!

Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?

A: Lean meat.

Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?

A: A wheelchair.

What did the blender say to the orange juice?

"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?

People want donuts.

I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.

Where do cows eat lunch?

In the calfeteria, dumb butt!

Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.

Dick cheese, booty hole, yellow cum shot, anal shit, dick hole, ass brownies.

Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?

Son goat: No, what?

Dad goat: Goat meat.

Son goat: *Gasps*

Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.

What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

One gets picked.

Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?

Yeah.

Why?

Because I got too obsessed with hares.

What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.

What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?

"Ah!"

Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?

Because he was too stuffed.

Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.