Food jokes
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
Memes
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
Why does the egg crack? Cos it's sad.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.
What is an egg?
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.