Food jokes

So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."

Why did the tamale go to the hospital?

because estava malito :)

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)

I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.

I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"

I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"

What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

His shoulder.

Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?

So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

What do you call high Mexicans?

Baked beans ;)

So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.

Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯

Friend: You can have my burrito baby.

Gay.

Friend: *begins to moan*

Me: Finna hang up.

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”

Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”

God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?

As fat as Ben Dingley.

What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?

Abortion of chips.

What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?

A corn stalk!