Food jokes

If only Karen Carpenter had eaten Mama Cass's sandwich...

How does a cannibal like his meat?

Human.

It's Caesar salad.

I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.

What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?

What was purple and conquered the world?

Alexander The Grape.

Why did the tamale go to the hospital?

because estava malito :)

What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef?

Beefthoven!

What do you call a weak, beta, tall and dumb kid? A banana.

But if you're vegan, you call him food.

If you're poor, you eat the skin.

What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?

All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.

What's small, brown and crispy?

A baby in an oven.

Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"

I wanted to bomb a restaurant, so I went in there with a bomb, but the bomb got diffused and did not work.

I asked a person standing nearby. I said, "Hey, do you know how to fix this bomb so I can blow up this place?"

He gave me a book.

It was the Quran.

I said, "What the hell is that?"

He said, "This is the official manual for bomb making."

I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)

Boy: Mom, why are you drinking this disgusting red soup? I wanted salad.

Mom: Quiet, son. We only get this once a month.

I always talk to my taco before I eat it.

One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!

Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?

So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.

What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

His shoulder.

Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.