Food jokes
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
So, this guy walked into a cannibal bar. The barista asked him what he wants, and the man ordered water. Then he left, because he wasn't a cannibal and just wanted a glass of water.
Me: I’m going to get burrito 🌯
Friend: You can have my burrito baby.
Gay.
Friend: *begins to moan*
Me: Finna hang up.
So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,
"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."
Oh, fuckshit, bitch, damn cocksucker.
Pussy, asshole, cunt.
Mother fuckin' dirty whore, shat onto my lunch.
Pisscunt, damn bitch, suck my dick.
Jesus Harold Christ!
Shit bitch, cocksucker, Goddamn motherfucker, pussy, asshole cunt!
Memes
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
What did the blender say to the orange juice?
"What the fuck are you, you are so fucking stupid, shut the fuck up."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
Johnny eats a lot of ham, so he catches lots of spam.
Dick cheese, booty hole, yellow cum shot, anal shit, dick hole, ass brownies.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.