Food jokes
What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.
I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a donut?
People want donuts.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked.
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
Why does the egg crack? Cos it's sad.
What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?
Why did the camel cross the road?
Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.