Food jokes

What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.

Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?

A: Lean meat.

What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?

Abortion of chips.

Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.

I named my dog "J," and everyone thought I said "jam."

What do you call a pig doing a karate chop?

Why did the camel cross the road?

Because it wanted to get to the bright green grass.

What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?

"Ah!"

Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?

Because he was too stuffed.

What is an egg?

What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.

Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.

I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...

Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"

Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"

Did you hear about the new Chinese food?

It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!

There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.

When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.

In heaven, an angel asks him why.

“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”

Bread is racist.

Yo momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.

Yo mama so stupid.

When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."