Food jokes
What did the police say to the ice cream freezer?
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
What is an orange cucumber?
A carrot, duh!
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
What is the difference between babies and dogs?
I don't eat dog parts.
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
Q: What's the best part about working at an abortion clinic?
A: You don't have to buy dog food.
Why did the man decide to work at a pizza place? Because he kneaded the dough!
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
Isn't it sad that orphans are only allowed self raising flour? Orphan-👁👄👁
Orphans eat their cereal with water because their dad never came back with the milk.
What’s the Twin Towers' favorite kind of pizza?
A: Plain.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
A blind man went to a restaurant.
"Menu sir?" asked the owner. "I'm blind, just bring me one of your dirty forks, I will smell it and order." The confused owner went to the kitchen to retrieve a fork and returned to the blind man.
The blind man smelled the fork with a deep breath, "Yes I will have the lamb with seasoned potatoes and spring vegetables." Unbelievable, thought the owner. The blind man ate and left. Two weeks later the blind man returned. The owner, wanting to know how good his smell is, quickly went to the kitchen where his wife Brenda was cooking and said, "Do me a favor and rub this fork over your private part" which she did. He then goes to the blind man and gives him the fork. The blind man takes it and puts it to his nose and says, "Oh interesting! I never knew Brenda works here!"
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.