Food jokes

What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."

What's the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples get picked.

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand.

And he said to the man Running the stand, "Hey! Bomp bomp bomp Got any grapes?"

My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."

What are the four seasons?

Salt, Pepper, Sugar, and Flour.

What do you call a pineapple? P.P.A.P. LOLLLLOLOLOLLOL9LOOLKOK.

Do I do the same for dinner tomorrow morning for you?

What’s a rapper’s favorite type of cereal?

Snap, crackle, and RAP!

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Well, at least one gets picked.

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky.

Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?

His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers mad? They wanted a drive-through pepperoni pizza, but got a fly-through plane instead.

Why is a sweet potato casserole so sweet? Because it's so sweet to eat!

I'll pat-your-breasts, pat-your-breasts, cos I'm a baker's man, and you bring me an orgasm as fast as you can. I'll pat you, and prick you, and mark you with my "D", and then put you in the oven for the bitch and me!

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?

What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.

What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?

Nothing.

What is the difference between a human and a burger?

One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.

One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.