Food jokes

What do you call chill legumes?

Hippeas.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the British bastard and get the egg roll.

What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?

Cauliflower.

What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?

CHEESE-US!

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."

What is a mouse’s 🐭 favorite side order?

Cheese Fries 🍟😋

Why did the car drive over the cake?

'Cause it was in tiers!! Lol, sorry this ain't funny.

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs, ha ha!

What do you do when you made a misteak?

You do some yoga 🧘‍♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."

What do you call a group of masturbating cows?

Beef stroganoff.

What would you call a mom cat and a kitten walking together?

KIT-KAT :p

Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert?

He was stuffed.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Bagel."

"Bagel who?"

"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"

What did the corn say to the flying apple?

"That's corny."

What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?

Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!

Caesar salad, Jack and Jill, little Johnny Koala,

Zebra, monkey, vegetables, bus, baa, bus.

I put peanut butter on my asshole so the dog would lick it, but instead I got bit by ants.

The other day this duck came by the gas station. He asked the cashier, "Do you have any duck food here?"

The cashier said, "Hell naw, I got no damn duck food. This the gas station, not no damn swamp, and I ain't ya mama."

Then the duck asked him two more times, and then the cashier said, "For the last time, no, I don't have any duck food here for you, ok? If you ask me again, I will put you in the oven and deep-fry you like Kentucky Fried Chicken."