Food jokes

If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.

What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?

Panera Fade.

Want to hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it's too cheesy.

I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were walking down the street when a french fry caught the attention of Mr. Potato.

Mrs. Potato said: "I see you eye-balling that French girl!"

What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?

Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!

What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?

Cauliflower.

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."

Sailors are coming onto the boardwalk and are met by Colonel Sanders. He asks them, "What is your occupation?" They respond, "We are seamen." So he says, "Well, you better wash up 'cause I'm finger lickin' good!"

Have you tried eating a clock?

It's time-consuming!

I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.

What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?

CHEESE-US!

I know a baby carrot when I see one.

What did the skeleton say after dinner?

Bon appétit!

Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?

A: IHOP.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.

Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.

What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?

Beets.