Food jokes
A peanut and another peanut walk into a bar.
One was a salted peanut.
What do you call it when Red Sox can't pull out?
Boston cream pie.
What plate do you need to eat in a car? A license plate!
Aha, tomato macaroni is bad, hahaha.
(I don't even know what on earth I put here, but okay.)
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
Do they say you are what you eat?
That makes Bulma a VEGETARIAN if u know what I'm SAIYAN.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
I like...
Wendy's.
"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
What did the tomato say to the tomato ketchup?
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"