Food jokes
Yo hairline so put back that you could put 10 big size ramen noodles there.
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.
Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
So, Johnny was working at a deli. A woman walks up and asks, "Do you have any salad?" Johnny says, "No." She asks, "What about carrots?" Again, Johnny says, "No." She says, "What about bananas?" Johnny says, "Tell ya what, spell out 'lad' in salad." She spells, "L A D." Johnny replies, "Spell 'rot' in carrot." She spells, "R O T." Johnny says, "Now spell 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." She says, "There is no 'fuck' in vegetables or fruits." Johnny exclaims, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!"
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*
Natives: Can y-
White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.
What do you call a nut stuck to a wall?
A walnut.
Zis iz za best joke in za west: exsepz if zu put ketup in shawarma itz yo mama!
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.
How did Reese eat her cereal? - Witherspoon!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef......haha.....no one likes my jokes.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.