Food jokes
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
What should I call a burger?
A cow burger.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What do chicken on a plancha and emos have in common?
They both are hung.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but instead they got plain!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Donut.
Why do most orphans cook for themselves?
They don't have a home cook.
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
What did the neutron say to the atom?
"Sandwiches, dude!"
What do you call Panera bread when it’s on top of someone?
Panera head.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Nacho.
Nacho who?
Nacho Cheese!
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?
"Who's the special today?"