Food jokes
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
Mother: How is my little cookie doing?
Doctor: Your cookie is feeling crummy right now.
Mother: Really?
Doctor: But don’t worry. Things are about to get batter.
Mother: 😁♥️🍪
What's the worst part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
I started crying when Dad began to cut onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
What's the difference between pepper and salt? One of them is black and the other one is white.
What is a good night's sleep, and what do I have for dinner today is what [I want to know].
It's Caesar salad.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
I am a fruitcake. Why? Because I’m fruity and nutty. That’s the joke. Tada!
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Robyn Olive in 10.
What type of cake can orphans not have?
Homemade.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
How was your day, Freshfry?