Food jokes
I would tell you a joke about meat, but the stakes are too high.
What did the lettuce say to the carrot?
"Lettuce be friends!"
What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?
"Who's the special today?"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on his side, there was a KFC shop.
Memes
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
What flour do you buy an orphan?
Self-raising flour.
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?
The Twin Towers ordered pepperoni pizza, but got plane.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.
You guys know BeReal?
BeReal? More like cereal.
Get it? BeReal = cereal.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher told them it was a piece of cake!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.