Food jokes
What's the difference between a cunnilinguist and a Ritz?
One is a snack cracker.
The other, a crack snacker.
Die you potato.
I baked you a pie.
Oh boy, which flavor?
Pie Pie Pie Pie.
Dad, I'm hungry.
Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Why did you name this way?
Why Why Why?
Why does Kermit like Miss Piggy covered in honey? Because he likes sweet and sour pork.
Eating a clock is so time-consuming.
Peanuts are hard to crack, just like my ex-wife's heart.
Memes
A meth and fetta meme!
Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?
When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.
Why don't cows make good policemen?
Because they refuse to go on steak-outs!
What did the egg say to the other egg?
"You crack me up!" 😂
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
How can you find out how old a cabbage is?
By looking at its cabbAGE.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
What do you get when you cross a turkey and a centipede?
Drumsticks for everyone!
What's the difference between hungry and horny? Where you stick the cucumber.
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
You're so short that you use a ladder to reach the potato chips!
Why are grapes never alone?
Because they hang out in a bunch!
Why did the robot eat a lightbulb?
'Cause he was in need of a light snack!
The lasagna I just cooked is for me, my friends, and family. You don't get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why? 'Cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.
Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?
Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.