Food jokes

There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.

I would tell you a joke about pizza,

but it's too cheesy.

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

What did the tomato say to the other tomato?

I want an almond-flavored biscuit.

haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.

When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals? To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.

Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?

Because it never runs out of juice.

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.

A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.

Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.

My boyfriend came over today and stole my milk. How dairy!

"Break me a piece of that Kit Kat bar."

Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.

Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.

What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One gets picked.

What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.