Food jokes
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
What’s 23 times 2?
A potato.
What's the difference between Trump and a Cheez-It cracker?
The cracker is naturally orange.
A note for my old English Teacher:
Mr. Colin, who loves making a din, He thinks everyone loves him, but little does he know, That's not what everyone shows, About his life he ploughs and ploughs, About his dog Bella and his relationship woes... Mr. Colin, we do not care, When you speak, our minds are not there, Your life you have unnecessarily shared, When we see you, our eyesight is impaired... Mr. Colin, rumbling about his exceptions, Just when someone puts something in the bin, Or chatters to someone, not even causing a din, But Mr. Colin, drinking too much gin, Will flail all his annoying attention on him, He'll push his limits, right to the rim...
And just how I love flan! Oh, he's finally gone!
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
How come Mr. Squirrel watches porn sometimes?
Sometimes he feels like a nut, sometimes he don't.
If I stepped on a Twix, would you get mad?
What's the difference between McDonald's and a priest?
nothing... they both stick their meat in ten-year-old buns.
Why can't orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because they're family size.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
Why did the fruit punch say "What's sup?"
He was so naughty!
What did I eat for breakfast yesterday?
10 year olds.
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
What is never ordered in an orphanage?
A family sized pizza!
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.