Food jokes
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
I wanted to tell a commie a joke about food, but he’d have to wait 10 years to get it.
What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.
A pa_pıe_rus.
Why don't heterosexual 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 suck a 🍌 because 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 tastes like 🐙?
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Hi, welcome to Mario's pizzeria/abortion clinic.
Where no fetus can beat us, and your loss is our sauce.
Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.
It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.
Get your mind together!
How about that airplane food? I eat it when I'm high.
Yo' mama is so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
What do you get when you cross a dick and a potato?
A dictator.