Food jokes
Why is there a 76 button on a bottle of ketchup?
To bring sweet luck.
When someone calls you, say "Welcome to Joe's Pizza Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce."
What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef!
Have you heard about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What’s the difference between a hot potato and a flying pig?
One’s a heated yam, and the other’s a YEATED HAM!
Memes
What's the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One's fun to hang to with a sledge hammer, the other is just a watermelon.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans eat a big bag of crisps?
'Cause it's family size...?!
My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"
Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
The orphan wanted to call home sick, but there was no one.
The orphan went to school to have food, but there was no money in his account.
Q) What’s the difference between an apple and an Orphan? A) Apples always get picked.
Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?
Why would a cannibal stop eating people?
If they got fed up with them.
What is the difference between fruits and Orphans?
Fruits get picked.
Today I went to get a sub, and they asked me if I wanted all vegetables. I said no, leave some for the rest of the customers.
How many beans are there in Irish chili?
Answer: 239
Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?
Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."
What's between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
Q: When a chip gets popped, what happens to it?
A: It gets pooped out of the bag.