Food jokes

Why did the OREO go to the dentist?

Because he needed a filling. 😂

What is purple and whines when it’s squished?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blueberry.

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

Why doesn't China have a cricket team?

They always eat the bat.

What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.

My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"

What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?

A milk dud 😂

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.

What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin' kids.

What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"

What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

What do you call a nosy pepper?

Jalapeno.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.