Food jokes
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
Why did the OREO go to the dentist?
Because he needed a filling. 😂
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.