When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
What does Mrs. Grapes π love the most?
Raisin' kids.
What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.
What do you get when a cow doesn't give any more milk?
A milk dud π
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
Why did the lemon π go to the doctor π©ββοΈ?
Because he had a sour stomach.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.
What do you call a nosy pepper?
Jalapeno.
I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I canβt tell you, youβll spread it.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
What is a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it sure as hell ain't plain.
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. π π π π
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
