Food jokes

What does an evil hen lay?

Deviled eggs! 😈🥚

what did the banana say to the banana?

"u look a-pealing"

Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"

Why did the OREO go to the dentist?

Because he needed a filling. 😂

What is purple and whines when it’s squished?

A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blueberry.

What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.

Why doesn't China have a cricket team?

They always eat the bat.

What is Africa's most played game?

The Hunger Games.

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

What do you call an avocado that got shot? Glockamole.

What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin' kids.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"

Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.

When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?

I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well, it was more of a wrap.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.